24 4 / 2014

ohzeitgeist:

St Ignatius of Antioch, NYC

It’s way too early in the morning and all I saw is who posted this on my dash and I was like “that is definitely my church is that Christ Church? no that isn’t Christ Church that’s not right at all but it is definitely my church but where can it beeeee”

Yes, 8am is too early for me to think clearly, shut up.

(at least I figured out that this is my current parish well before reading the caption?)

(via anachronizomai)

24 4 / 2014

kaylapocalypse:

image

Okay, Yesterday I said I would start answering the questions from [this post] and I’m going to start with How To Write Families.

1. Understand what constitutes a family.

Families come in many shapes and sizes. They are not always parent x parent x child(s). They can…

(via art-of-storytelling)

23 4 / 2014

That Thing Girls Do

ktupsidedown:

Where they come up with code names for guys they like or are dating like Absie McHotterson or Doesn’t Like Pancakes Guy

… I just really enjoy it.

23 4 / 2014

lovedivine1:

I like this…………..

not wild about including a lame (but inoffensive) dobson quote at the end but these seem like really important things to look for, no matter who you are

23 4 / 2014

"I dunno, just laying face down on the couch and waiting for some baby boomers to die, I guess"

Millennials, when asked about plans for the future (via alwaysfaithfulterriblelizard)

(Source: hermione-ganja, via dick-of-saint-vick)

23 4 / 2014

thefoodogatemyhomework:

Classic Connecticut living room leading into the dining room in a home by Austin Patterson Disston Architects.

I hate the pattern on the couches and also that rug is painful but otherwise I need this yes good

thefoodogatemyhomework:

Classic Connecticut living room leading into the dining room in a home by Austin Patterson Disston Architects.

I hate the pattern on the couches and also that rug is painful but otherwise I need this yes good

(via mimirscopybook)

23 4 / 2014

Hey! What I really appreciated in your reply was talking about how performing our identities is a very important thing to consider. We perform our identities so that people will perceive us in certain ways and so that people will make assumptions….

Thanks!  Yeah, exactly.  I get that it can be any range from irritating to offensive to dangerous if people make the wrong assumptions or read the wrong things, but that’s sort of what goes along with communication of any kind.  I choose words, clothes, body language, with varying levels of consciousness about it, and hopefully you read the things I intended from them.  But miscommunications happen, as do misreadings.  Early in high school, I got read as a rich girl — the reading and base assumption (though wholly inaccurate) was fair, given my clothing choices and presentation.  The unfair part was then concluding various other things or making judgments and third-degree inferences based on the very superficial assumption (e.g., being entitled, snobby, and never experiencing hardship).  There seems to be a similar difference between guessing at a pronoun for someone you aren’t close enough to to ask their gender (or frankly, might be afraid to — there are plenty of people I could think of that I’d feel physically unsafe saying, “Hey, what’s your gender?” to), and making a whole bunch of gendered inferences about the person’s personality/interests/body.

I was asking about how it’s experienced because I imagine that if you have anxiety about your gender, having that misread would lead to a more serious/harmful emotional reaction than someone assuming I’m a lawyer.

Tags:

Permalink 2 notes

23 4 / 2014

also I no longer feel bad for my MBTI spam since I guess my followers need to understand ENTJs better

Permalink 2 notes

23 4 / 2014

On the plus side, I guess it’s heartening that my former best friend has done such a turn around that now I’m the closed-minded one, when during the course of our early friendship I had to spend a full dinner explaining why “children need a mother and a father” was a really hurtful and closed-minded thing to say.

23 4 / 2014

magicmadzik replied to your post: ugh wtf emotionnnnnnns i was so happy and good evening and now i feel…
*hugs* If it had anything to do with having to explain yourself in that last post, I’m with you there. Hate that it was assumed that you weren’t being genuine.
Yes, it did, thank you.  It misunderstood my way of thinking, processing, etc and my intentions so badly that I actually assumed it was a Random Tumblr Stranger before realizing that it was someone I actually consider enough of a friend that they were in the small pool of people invited to my wedding, and I was meant to go to theirs (before I had an anxiety breakdown and couldn’t).  So, yeah.  Hard night.  Thanks for the hugs and love.

Permalink 6 notes

23 4 / 2014

bluestalking-fox:

novangla:

thewolfyears:

novangla:

missmarionmac:

faewings:

forms of transphobia you should watch out for in your speech and thought processes

  • casual cissexism: associating genitalia/body parts with gender, statements like “god i’m such a lesbian i love vaginas” and “guys don’t understand periods at all” or anything that implies people with vaginas and breasts = female and people with penises = male
  • nonbinary erasure: phrases like “opposite gender”, statements that imply male and female are the only genders
  • intersex erasure: phrases like “opposite sex”, statements that imply there are only two sexes and that everyone is born with strictly a vagina or penis
  • assuming gender based on appearance: if you don’t know someone’s gender, don’t assume they are female and don’t refer to them as “she” just because they appear dfab or femme. don’t use gendered terms to refer to someone whose gender you do not know.

File under: things that as a cishet person I’ve been working on to be as supportive an ally as I can. I’ve been trying to use “different gender” or “different sex” rather than “opposite.”

Totally on board with the above comment.  It was super-helpful to see that pointed out on tumblr and I’m much more aware of it now!  I don’t think opposite actually implies that there is no intermediary (I mean, cloudy is the opposite of sunny but there are partly cloudy days and sunshowers and all that!), but it’s not a necessary term, and “different” is just as easy to say!

A little wary of “never use gendered terms to someone whose gender you do not know” - like how much information do you need before it’s acceptable to use regular parts of the English language?  In my line of work, my workers are 95% women and tend to have pretty traditional names so if I am looking at a chart and I see “Marlene Johnson” or see a co-worker that looks like a woman I’m going to fuckin say “where is she from?” because I will sound like an actual clueless dumb if I say “they”.  Hell, I got funny looks because I had to ask if “Ilove” was a man or women, and that’s a name I’ve never heard of!

I mean, I haven’t experienced it so I admit my own privilege and ignorance here (I’ve only been misgendered a handful of times and always by children who just look at hair length and pants rather than, idk, skinny jeans and curves and makeup), but it also seems like… making intelligent assumptions based on experience and how people present themselves is part of human functioning.  The usual important thing is to stay open-minded in case you are wrong, but totally shutting down that function…

I guess my question is, how offensive is this?

Obviously if it’s done snidely or the person doesn’t correct themselves when corrected that’s one thing, but do people get their day ruined by having a total stranger guess the wrong pronoun/title?  I kind of feel like if you are presenting (i.e., an aesthetic choice) in a very masculine or very feminine way, you accept the risk of randos assuming you are m or f, accordingly.  And then either correct it (because they’ll see you again, or because you want to enlighten them) or ignore it because they are an inconsequential stranger who just made a fairly honest mistake given your presentation choices.

(Is there even a gender neutral for Sir and Ma’am/Miss?)

((P.S. what would the appropriate term be for the lesbian who only is attracted to women who have vaginas? it doesn’t seem like you can call that cissexist if that’s the attraction orientation, but I do get why “lesbian” would be a problematic term there))

Let’s pretend for a second that you are asking honest questions in a genuine attempt to education yourself. I have answers for some of those questions! Lemme just say, if you are coming to the table as an ally who really wants to work to be on the side of trans* people, you need to actually do the work and listen to what we say, and make an effort to change your behaviors based on that.

I kind of feel like if you are presenting (i.e., an aesthetic choice) in a very masculine or very feminine way, you accept the risk of randos assuming you are m or f, accordingly.”
Hello! this is cissexist! Also a pretty fucked up thing to say! For example: you do realize that it’s incredibly hard to present as CONSISTENTLY ANDROGYNOUS to cis people who are not even thinking of that as a viable option? Most people are going to read everyone they meet as either male or female, no matter how they’re trying to present. Why should someone who identifies as nonbinary, for example, work INSANELY HARD  not to be read as their birth gender when it’s just going to be ignored anyway? Also, it would be kind of nice, actually, to live in a world in where there were no gendered assumptions that went along with femme/butch presentation. Instead of reinforcing that, what we’re talking about here and taking away its power.

"The usual important thing is to stay open-minded in case you are wrong, but totally shutting down that function…"
What is the purpose of that function that you’re so anxious to preserve it? What does assuming gender based on anything besides the person’s word do for us?

I guess my question is, how offensive is this?”
Let me tell you, from a trans* person to a cis person: it is very offensive! Question answered. Honestly, though, as someone who does not have to defend their gender every day, you probably don’t understand why yet another person getting it wrong is so upsetting. I guess I could ask you to imagine that everyone you met misgendered you, but even that doesn’t convey the full impact of living in a society that believes you don’t or shouldn’t exist and then for the fifth, ten, fifteenth time that day, having someone see you wrong.

(Is there even a gender neutral for Sir and Ma’am/Miss?)”
Does there need to be? I never address customers with any kind of honorific or title, and nobody seems much to mind.

I guess the question I have for you is: why are you so intent on gendering strangers? The only answer I see here is that it’s awkward for you not to, because it’s not the norm. Well, defying that norm is what it means to do the work of being an ally.

Why do we have to “pretend for a second” — what the hell.  

Honestly, I reblogged it initially because I had recently started thinking about the “opposite/different” gender phrasing, and wanted to share that.  And then I realized I had some questions that some of my friends/followers would probably be able to chime in on, given their own life experiences, etc, that differ from mine.

I responded to something a friend of mine reblogged, and if you knew me, you would know that yes, I am honestly asking questions, and me writing out my thoughts is the way I process information and try to think out things, because they have to make sense to me.

I’m not intent on anything. I said I’m wary of a blanket rule that it’s never okay to make a guess at which gendered language to use before a person makes it clear.  I think I did give pretty specific examples of why, in my particular line of work, I can’t just ask everyone’s gender or say “they” all the time.  It’s not about awkward for me, it’s about doing my job, which requires making people feel completely not weirded out at all by me and having my language be as crystal clear as possible.

And yeah, people who aren’t thinking of non-binary gender as an option are going to overlook androgyny.  But it doesn’t seem TERRIBLE to see someone consistently decked out in trappings that communicate femininity and say, “Oh I think she was in my class once in college”.  Maybe you’ll be wrong, but isn’t part of the point of performance that it communicates something?  We perform and communicate a hell of a lot more than just gender, and people, being people, read signs from that.  Sometimes they’re right, sometimes they’re wrong.  Storytime: my ex and I used to go to Plimoth Plantation a lot.  Once, she was in sort of ordinary preppy clothing, hair down, etc, and we passed this NDN woman working there who was… well. Not friendly at all.  The next time, my ex had put on her favorite South American indigenous jewelry and braided her hair — consciously performing her ethnicity — and the same NDN woman stopped us and talked to her for the better part of an hour about indigenous issues.  It goes a lot beyond gender, and I tend to assume that if someone is putting a lot of effort into performing in a given way, they are trying to communicate something by it.  Another story: when I was at court for my divorce, I wore a suit, because hey, I’m a lawyer and courts = suits.  Apparently not for normal people!  Or I had some lawyer vibe going on (oh wait it was probably the legal folder I used to carry all my documents) but I had like 5-6 people mistake me for an attorney instead of a party that day.  Fair enough, because I’d spent four years trying to cultivate an image of “hey, take me seriously as an attorney and not a tiny girl”.

My point isn’t that it’s okay to assign gender to strangers when there’s no need.  Obviously not!  What I was noting is that performativity is a real thing and it’s not crazy that people will read, or try to read, cues that they pick up in how you present.  So in those circumstances, I was asking, is it still unacceptable to make a guess based on what the person is seemingly trying to communicate?  At what point does it become okay to use a gendered term or pronoun?  Is there any room at all for inference?

 And the tip was written in such a vague way that I was/am having trouble figuring out in what circumstances this applies/doesn’t apply and how to go about speaking to/about people without asking them their gender.  What does this actually look like?  The other bullet points of the OP were far more clear.

Surprise, he does know you, and this kind of attitude is why I don’t follow you anymore. Let’s make it quick:

"do people get their day ruined by having a total stranger guess the wrong pronoun/title?" Yes

"making intelligent assumptions based on experience and how people present themselves" there are no intelligent assumptions

"I don’t think opposite actually implies that there is no intermediary (I mean, cloudy is the opposite of sunny but there are partly cloudy days and sunshowers and all that!)" oh i am like the weather and i should not feel left out when the majority of people are obviously intending to include me in their seemingly binary language? because awareness of more than two genders is so normative and that is why our language ~implies~ that we exist? thank u i feel super better

"I mean, I haven’t experienced it" this is incredibly obvious

"But it doesn’t seem TERRIBLE to see someone consistently decked out in trappings that communicate femininity and say, “Oh I think she was in my class once in college”." if you say that about me you’re wrong. gold star. I’ll be over here in my tits and my sundress. it is terrible, this is a terrible thing to say, i know you have heard better than this in this very thread so why are you still arguing.

they are an inconsequential stranger who just made a fairly honest mistake given your presentation choices.” good call tomorrow i will be born in another body, comfortable in other clothes that people will still judge in a manner i have no control over, and those people will still tell me it is my fault for dressing that way. i will get right on that. i fucked up i fucked up i made a mistake, i made the choice for people to shit on meeeeeeee

tl;dr your response was incredibly triggering and basically said that people have to conform to your ideas about gender performance (which seems pretty binary) for you to understand them.

i am so done.

I’m sorry that what I wrote upset you.  That was really not my intention, and you do know me well enough to know that me writing responses and processing ideas is not the same as me disagreeing.  You somehow are taking my verbal-wrestling-as-processing as verbal-wrestling-as-defensive-disagreement, and that’s totally off base.  I don’t think the original post is wrong — I reblogged it because I thought they were good tips/things to watch for.  Nor do I think Scott’s response was wrong — my answers were trying to incorporate what he said and correct a couple of his misreadings (like that I’m intent on gendering strangers — I’m not and I usually don’t even wonder what gender a stranger is - like I said, usually when it comes up for me, it’s in my line of work).

I know I’ve met Scott, but he doesn’t know how I talk, think, argue, etc.  I thought you did!  I know it’s been some time since we hung out a lot, but this is how I think and figure things out, and even though it looks like wanting to be right, that’s not it, at all.  I guess it would’ve been preferable to you two that I just come to my own conclusions and don’t say anything?

I’m really, really disappointed that someone I thought of as my best friend once would make such a rookie error about my personality.  Unsurprisingly, given that, you are reading a lot of shit into my responses that is not at all what I said or was thinking.  I’m not going to go through all of that, because you are responding to things I never said, and you clearly have no interest in hearing what I think.  You’ve completely misread almost everything, and I honestly don’t trust you to not do the same if I were to clarify, so I won’t on most of it, other than:

(a) I never said the non-binary person made a mistake — I said someone who misgenders on the basis of the “tits and a sundress” made an honest mistake.  It’s on them.  People make accurate and inaccurate assumptions about people based on their presentation all the time, and it can range from fairly benign to extremely dangerous.  Mistakes are all mistakes made on the part of the viewer, and they are more or less honest, and more or less okay to make.  We do communicate when we get dressed, choose our hair, choose makeup or lack thereof, etc.  Any communication carries some intent, the form itself, and the need to be interpreted.  People will always try to interpret it, but sometimes there is miscommunication! Clearly.

(b) I don’t think gender performance is binary, which is why I specifically said I was talking about people whose performance does fall into strongly masculine or feminine categories (which includes a lot of transmen and transwomen).  And even though someone can have a beard, wear rugged mountain man clothes, and still not be a man, those are performative aspects that do read as masculine (and are often intended as such).  A lot of people, including trans people, go to serious lengths to perform within the gender binary.  They aren’t everyone, but they do exist (which is why when I gave the example of the classmate, I also said “consistently”).

I’m not saying those things to be right.  I’m trying to put you somewhat more at ease, so you don’t think I’m going around blaming non-binary people for being misgendered, or refusing to understand that people perform and operate outside of a binary.  Sorry again if that didn’t work.

I’m not perfect, I never claimed to be.  I’m trying to understand things that I don’t have experience with, so I can improve how I speak and act and have a better way of thinking about these things.  I’m not sure what else to say beyond that.  I’d say next time I’ll just keep my thoughts to myself, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.  So don’t follow me, if that’s what you need to do.

Permalink 3,483 notes

23 4 / 2014

seventypercentethanol:

What is left, if even faith can die? Nameless asked.
New life, replied the Scientist.

seventypercentethanol:

What is left, if even faith can die? Nameless asked.

New life, replied the Scientist.

(via andythelemon)

22 4 / 2014

ugh wtf emotionnnnnnns

i was so happy and good evening and now i feel like crap and on the verge of tears and i’m not going to be able to write, for the gajillionth time this month

and i already watched my tv show

time to go drown my feels in reading some theology i guess

22 4 / 2014

thewolfyears:

novangla:

missmarionmac:

faewings:

forms of transphobia you should watch out for in your speech and thought processes

  • casual cissexism: associating genitalia/body parts with gender, statements like “god i’m such a lesbian i love vaginas” and “guys don’t understand periods at all” or anything that implies people with vaginas and breasts = female and people with penises = male
  • nonbinary erasure: phrases like “opposite gender”, statements that imply male and female are the only genders
  • intersex erasure: phrases like “opposite sex”, statements that imply there are only two sexes and that everyone is born with strictly a vagina or penis
  • assuming gender based on appearance: if you don’t know someone’s gender, don’t assume they are female and don’t refer to them as “she” just because they appear dfab or femme. don’t use gendered terms to refer to someone whose gender you do not know.

File under: things that as a cishet person I’ve been working on to be as supportive an ally as I can. I’ve been trying to use “different gender” or “different sex” rather than “opposite.”

Totally on board with the above comment.  It was super-helpful to see that pointed out on tumblr and I’m much more aware of it now!  I don’t think opposite actually implies that there is no intermediary (I mean, cloudy is the opposite of sunny but there are partly cloudy days and sunshowers and all that!), but it’s not a necessary term, and “different” is just as easy to say!

A little wary of “never use gendered terms to someone whose gender you do not know” - like how much information do you need before it’s acceptable to use regular parts of the English language?  In my line of work, my workers are 95% women and tend to have pretty traditional names so if I am looking at a chart and I see “Marlene Johnson” or see a co-worker that looks like a woman I’m going to fuckin say “where is she from?” because I will sound like an actual clueless dumb if I say “they”.  Hell, I got funny looks because I had to ask if “Ilove” was a man or women, and that’s a name I’ve never heard of!

I mean, I haven’t experienced it so I admit my own privilege and ignorance here (I’ve only been misgendered a handful of times and always by children who just look at hair length and pants rather than, idk, skinny jeans and curves and makeup), but it also seems like… making intelligent assumptions based on experience and how people present themselves is part of human functioning.  The usual important thing is to stay open-minded in case you are wrong, but totally shutting down that function…

I guess my question is, how offensive is this?

Obviously if it’s done snidely or the person doesn’t correct themselves when corrected that’s one thing, but do people get their day ruined by having a total stranger guess the wrong pronoun/title?  I kind of feel like if you are presenting (i.e., an aesthetic choice) in a very masculine or very feminine way, you accept the risk of randos assuming you are m or f, accordingly.  And then either correct it (because they’ll see you again, or because you want to enlighten them) or ignore it because they are an inconsequential stranger who just made a fairly honest mistake given your presentation choices.

(Is there even a gender neutral for Sir and Ma’am/Miss?)

((P.S. what would the appropriate term be for the lesbian who only is attracted to women who have vaginas? it doesn’t seem like you can call that cissexist if that’s the attraction orientation, but I do get why “lesbian” would be a problematic term there))

Let’s pretend for a second that you are asking honest questions in a genuine attempt to education yourself. I have answers for some of those questions! Lemme just say, if you are coming to the table as an ally who really wants to work to be on the side of trans* people, you need to actually do the work and listen to what we say, and make an effort to change your behaviors based on that.

I kind of feel like if you are presenting (i.e., an aesthetic choice) in a very masculine or very feminine way, you accept the risk of randos assuming you are m or f, accordingly.”
Hello! this is cissexist! Also a pretty fucked up thing to say! For example: you do realize that it’s incredibly hard to present as CONSISTENTLY ANDROGYNOUS to cis people who are not even thinking of that as a viable option? Most people are going to read everyone they meet as either male or female, no matter how they’re trying to present. Why should someone who identifies as nonbinary, for example, work INSANELY HARD  not to be read as their birth gender when it’s just going to be ignored anyway? Also, it would be kind of nice, actually, to live in a world in where there were no gendered assumptions that went along with femme/butch presentation. Instead of reinforcing that, what we’re talking about here and taking away its power.

"The usual important thing is to stay open-minded in case you are wrong, but totally shutting down that function…"
What is the purpose of that function that you’re so anxious to preserve it? What does assuming gender based on anything besides the person’s word do for us?

I guess my question is, how offensive is this?”
Let me tell you, from a trans* person to a cis person: it is very offensive! Question answered. Honestly, though, as someone who does not have to defend their gender every day, you probably don’t understand why yet another person getting it wrong is so upsetting. I guess I could ask you to imagine that everyone you met misgendered you, but even that doesn’t convey the full impact of living in a society that believes you don’t or shouldn’t exist and then for the fifth, ten, fifteenth time that day, having someone see you wrong.

(Is there even a gender neutral for Sir and Ma’am/Miss?)”
Does there need to be? I never address customers with any kind of honorific or title, and nobody seems much to mind.

I guess the question I have for you is: why are you so intent on gendering strangers? The only answer I see here is that it’s awkward for you not to, because it’s not the norm. Well, defying that norm is what it means to do the work of being an ally.

Why do we have to “pretend for a second” — what the hell.  

Honestly, I reblogged it initially because I had recently started thinking about the “opposite/different” gender phrasing, and wanted to share that.  And then I realized I had some questions that some of my friends/followers would probably be able to chime in on, given their own life experiences, etc, that differ from mine.

I responded to something a friend of mine reblogged, and if you knew me, you would know that yes, I am honestly asking questions, and me writing out my thoughts is the way I process information and try to think out things, because they have to make sense to me.

I’m not intent on anything. I said I’m wary of a blanket rule that it’s never okay to make a guess at which gendered language to use before a person makes it clear.  I think I did give pretty specific examples of why, in my particular line of work, I can’t just ask everyone’s gender or say “they” all the time.  It’s not about awkward for me, it’s about doing my job, which requires making people feel completely not weirded out at all by me and having my language be as crystal clear as possible.

And yeah, people who aren’t thinking of non-binary gender as an option are going to overlook androgyny.  But it doesn’t seem TERRIBLE to see someone consistently decked out in trappings that communicate femininity and say, “Oh I think she was in my class once in college”.  Maybe you’ll be wrong, but isn’t part of the point of performance that it communicates something?  We perform and communicate a hell of a lot more than just gender, and people, being people, read signs from that.  Sometimes they’re right, sometimes they’re wrong.  Storytime: my ex and I used to go to Plimoth Plantation a lot.  Once, she was in sort of ordinary preppy clothing, hair down, etc, and we passed this NDN woman working there who was… well. Not friendly at all.  The next time, my ex had put on her favorite South American indigenous jewelry and braided her hair — consciously performing her ethnicity — and the same NDN woman stopped us and talked to her for the better part of an hour about indigenous issues.  It goes a lot beyond gender, and I tend to assume that if someone is putting a lot of effort into performing in a given way, they are trying to communicate something by it.  Another story: when I was at court for my divorce, I wore a suit, because hey, I’m a lawyer and courts = suits.  Apparently not for normal people!  Or I had some lawyer vibe going on (oh wait it was probably the legal folder I used to carry all my documents) but I had like 5-6 people mistake me for an attorney instead of a party that day.  Fair enough, because I’d spent four years trying to cultivate an image of “hey, take me seriously as an attorney and not a tiny girl”.

My point isn’t that it’s okay to assign gender to strangers when there’s no need.  Obviously not!  What I was noting is that performativity is a real thing and it’s not crazy that people will read, or try to read, cues that they pick up in how you present.  So in those circumstances, I was asking, is it still unacceptable to make a guess based on what the person is seemingly trying to communicate?  At what point does it become okay to use a gendered term or pronoun?  Is there any room at all for inference?

 And the tip was written in such a vague way that I was/am having trouble figuring out in what circumstances this applies/doesn’t apply and how to go about speaking to/about people without asking them their gender.  What does this actually look like?  The other bullet points of the OP were far more clear.

22 4 / 2014

mmanalysis:

Disclaimer: This post is going to be sort of stream of conscious.

Are there any other female ENTJs out there? I swear, I feel like I’m the only one out here. I have a theory that ENTJs and pretty much any female with a strong Thinking tend to fake being more Feeling because that’s what society…

OH MY GOSH HELLO HELLO HELLO

I am also an ENTJ lady, which the internets seem to think is like unto a unicorn — a gender-transgressive unicorn. Wompity wah…  

Sometimes I feel very much like an ENFJ, and then think it’s weird that F is supposed to be my weakest function, but I think I actually just have a socially-imposed well-developed F (probably more Fe let’s be honest here) due to being a lady person.  Like, being an E who therefore puts a lot of stock into my relationships, and being a woman who therefore is not allowed to be a cold callous bitch, I’ve learned to really rope in my T and play diplomat.  Probably a good thing, but it means that a lot of the ENTJ descriptions sound… not like me, really.  I would die before being a cutthroat CEO!